Ganpatipule - A Trip to Remember

The day after exams got over, we were off to Ganpatipule, a delightful beach resort 350 km from Bombay. We were searching for respite from the Bombay heat, and boy did we find it.

Our train was the rather suggestively named Konkan Kanya, which literally means, "babe from the Konkan". She didn't look very suggestive though. In fact the only suggestion I made when I saw her was to go back home. But we decided to brave the dimly lit interiors and the stinky compartment as it was only an 8 hour journey. We settled down and much to our surprise, the train departed at the said time of 11 pm.

The journey was uneventful, unless you count the part where we removed the supports to the middle berth where Amit was sleeping. I discovered that still photography from a moving train is not exactly my forte. I also discovered that waking Salil up from deep sleep is the easiest way to experience excruciating pain. We arrived at Ratnagiri station at 6. 30 in the morning.

We had hired a car to take us to Ganpatipule, which was 45 kms away. We completed the journey in about an hour and reached the Bank of India credit society's holiday home. Accomodation in this place was achieved by means I'd rather not mention. Let is suffice to say we got 2 terrace flats in this place dirt cheap.

The place was excellent. A kilometer from the beach on a slope and an excellent sea view. Breakfast and a bit of cricket and we were going to the temple.

The temple is a famous one, but not being the tourist season, was pretty much empty. We also walked once around the hill housing the temple. Legend has it the hill is shaped like Lord Ganesha. We were enlightened, on that particular walk, by the 3 Civil engineering students, that most of the rock in that area was shale or limestone or lycra. I forget. Not to be outdone, I spent the best part of half an hour, explaining how difficult it is to supply power to that isolated area.

We had lunch at one of those houses there where the owners serve food for a price. The place was recommended to us by one of the priests at the temple. The food there was pathetic and expensive and judjing by the curses we heaped upon the priest, I am sure we have condemned him to a place where he would find far too hot for his liking.

Evening was spent at the beach, where we engaged in a spirited game of football. Sunset, and we were back at the hotel.

That night was one i would remember well because that was the first time I played poker. Actually the desi version called "teen patti". Half an hour and richer by around ten thousand fake rupees, I was hooked. We played till about 5 in the morning, becoming more and more insane as far as the betting was concerned.

Woke up at about 9, and had breakfast. We had a big day ahead of us. We were supposed to visit a place called Marleshwar. It has a waterfall and we were supposed to bathe in the calming flow of water. We reached there and walked up 500 steps to the temple, only to be told that the Waterfall was off limits because of the monsoons. Good law abiding Indians that we are, three of us jumped the barrier and took pictures anyway.

We reached the hotel in the evening, me sitting in the back of the car which was so uncomfortable, I was soon dreaming of Aushwitz. Another game of poker and we were off to bed at 1. By this time it was raining ass hard outside.

Four of us were sharing the room. Salil and Amit got the bed, while me and Kedar were sleeping sleeping on matresses on the floor. It was about 5.15 in the morning that I woke up to detect a certain wetness on my clothes. I was in the process of contemplating a biological malfunction which had not taken place since when i was 4, when I put my foot on the ground to hear a resounding splash.

Lights on, and I saw the room was an inch and a half under water. It was everywhere. It got our luggage and Kedar's cell (his fourth in as many years). The guys in the other room were lucky. Or so it seemed. The water didnt get to the room where they were sleeping. But it got to the room where they had put their luggage.

It was still raining very heavily and we realized our plans of touring ratnagiri that day were dooomed. So we did the next best thing. We packed our bags and left for Ratnagiri station. We got to know that our train, which was supposed to arrive at 10 that night, was delayed till 3 am. Balls to that we said, and got tickets on a passenger train scheduled to depart a couple of hours later.

We managed to get on and with certain negotiations with the ticket checker, we managed to "upgrage" ourselves to sleeper class. 10 hours later (3 of which were spent in playing an insane game of dumb charades), we reached Mumbai, a bit hungry, but safe and sound.

It was 1 am when I rang the doorbell and stepped inside the warmth of my own home. A warm bath and hot dinner awaited.

Au revoir Titi

Dear Titi,

It is with a heavy heart that all of us bid a farewell to you. Your 8 years at Arsenal have been years filled with joys and emotions. That dipping shot against Manchester, the hat-trick against Liverpool, the brilliant goal against Madrid and several other sublime moments have all been etched into our memories forever. Your leave marks the end of the era of the "Invincibles". You were the last great one from that time.

What you have done for us in these years is remarkable. You are the top goal scorer for Arsenal. You have won various honours. But that is not what endears you to us. We love you because you were a leader, motivaor and above all a winner. It is only fitting that you scored a hat-trick in our last match at Highbury. Not only Arsenal but the entire English Premier League will feel your loss. Your prolific form has earned you grudging admiration from the supporters of many other clubs.

The reason you left is an open secret. You have won all the major trophies a footballer could have wanted to achieve over the years. The World cup, The European cup, The Premier league, the FA cup......... everything except the Champions league. You believe that the main reason we have failed to claim that title year after year, is because the Arsenal board does not empty its pockets to buy superstars. It is also true that you did everything possible to help us get so close to that elusive dream of European gold in 2006. We can understand that it is this dream which has prompted you to take this, what seems to us, rather drastic step.

But let it be known that we bid you adieu, not with hatred, but with wistful sadness. We see you leave English soil for the warmth of Spain saddened that we could not hang on to you. Though we would have loved to see you retire as an Arsenal player, we could also never hold you back from realizing your dreams. Because we love you and we wish you to succeed at whatever you set out to accomplish.

However let it also be known that we, as a team will, come out of this dark tunnel. The end of an era is merely the beginning of another one. We shall rebuild and we shall endure. We might not be invincible anymore, but we shall work towards reclaiming that title. As for Europe, is there any fortress that has never yet fallen?

I will not blame anybody for your decision. It was something that was waiting to occur.
At Arsenal you always were and will remain King. Your absence will make us look for someone to take your place but we will surely never see anyone like you ever again.

We will miss your celebrations, we will miss your free kicks, we will miss your dribbling but what we will miss most is the voice of the commentator shouting, "Hennnnnrrrrrrrryyyyyy. One - Nil to Arsenal"

Bonne Chance King.

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The Pale Blue Dot

I just came across this pic a few minutes ago. Any guesses what that is? The small dot towards which the arrow is pointing? Feast your eyes, because that is our home planet. It is Earth as viewed by Voyager 1 from an astounding distance of 4 billion miles. It looks about as big as a dust mote doesn't it? Yet it is the culmination of all our achievements. It contains everything. Everything we do, everyone we love, everything we have gained and lost, it all comes down to that minisicule number of pixels.

Kind of puts things in persperctive doesn't it? It is both awe inspiring and saddening. This little thing is all we have. Aren't we foolish to assume we are the masters of the universe? Are we so short sighted that we presume in this vast blackness of space, we alone are intelligent? How can we be? As this picture clearly shows, we are just a footnote in the history of the universe.

Our planet, which seems like an oasis in the watelands of the galaxy, is all we have. Yet we continue to abuse it and treat it like shit. What we do everyday seems so pointless. People in power are so possessed by their sense of self importance that they forget it is only a matter of time before they die. Its only a matter of time before we all die. You, me, everybody. Nothing is important. College, Vada-pav, the guitar are all unimportant. Even this blo........... bloody hell, almost let the goth mentality overwhelm me.

I'm alright now folks. I let the morbid thoughts get the better of me. Bloody voices in my head just don't stop sometimes. Besides, how can anything be more important than this blog? The point I wanted to make was we should be humble enough to accept what we have as a precious gift and take care of it. What will the aliens think of us when they finally come here. (Don't shake your heads. You have seen the pic. Think we are alone? No hope.)

I think they will just dismiss us as a collosal waste of semen and kill us off. So much for being one in a million (Refer standard biology texts). Anyway it will probably be all for the best. Let the pic of the pale blue dot inspire you not to fuck with the environment. Turn off that AC you sorry little..............

Shall We tell the president?

Ever since Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam was elected president, people went on harping about how educated he is and a brilliant mind being at the helm of our country's affairs and what not. While I have the utmost respect for the president, and indeed, am inspired by his story of success, I cannot get over the fact that he seems a wee bit naive.

Now, before you guys start insulting me, I would like you to consider this. Have you guys read news reports about the president interacting with school kids? If you have, I'm sure you would have noticed how often he says technology is the answer to all the problems in the country. How to cope with energy shortage? Improve technology. How do we increase food production? Technology. How do we eradicate unemployment? Improve technology. How do we reduce queues at the ration shop? You guessed it. Technology. All of his answers appear to revolve around this 10 letter word. If things were that easy, why don't Phds, engineers and doctors run the show in our country and the world? How can technology make a guy get off his ass and start earn a living? Only willpower can do that. How can technology stop someone from giving out bribes? (Apart from the fact that you can create monitoring devices to catch him in the act.) Sure technology can play an important role in solving our problems, but it is not the only solution.

Also a few days ago, Dr. Kalam mentioned that in 75 years man can establish a colony on mars.

http://sify.com/news_info/news/moonmission/fullstory.php?id=13362476

Why are we out to conquer space when we haven't even managed to tame our own planet? We are planning to inhabit other planets, while at the same time, we are squandering earth's resources. Dr. Kalam has been advocating frivolous persuits like this starting with India's proposed moon mission. what is the need to waste the taxpayer's money on such things which only remain pure status symbols? Even the americans have been ignoring the moon for 2 decades. The money spent on these missions can be better spent in developing the country's infrastucture. At least we will not have to beg on our knees in front of the World Bank.

I would rather see the president address the issues of animal conservation and global warming. Are we such a parasitic species that we drain the Earth of all our resources and move to some other planet just like the freak-ass aliens in Independence Day? I hope not. I want Dr. Kalam to lay his eyes on the ground before he looks at the stars. The nation needs action rather then speculation. What the people of India need, is a good kick where the sun don't shine. Maybe we will start working towards achieveing our dreams then.

P.S. Dr. Kalam is probably the most coolest president ever and I would rather see him as president again rather than some smartass politician.

How Debu got busted

This is the sad story of how Debu's 4 year old hostel life came to an untimely end.


It was the morning after the Roger Waters concert. Yeah that's right. The one I missed. Remind me never to trust the press for a free pass. Anyway, I spent a sleepless night getting jealous of Debu and Dawg and finally hit the sack at five, when all of a sudden the Mortal Kombat ringtone woke me up.

Shit. Someone calling at 8 on a holiday. (number unknown).

Me: Hello (very sleepy)

Caller: Hello. This is Debu's father speaking. Is Debu there?

Shit!!! What do I do? I knew Debu's story and mine should match later or he is screwed. Damn!!! Of all the things to deal with when you were sleepy, this was the most difficult.Thankfully due to years of training with the very best in the business, I instantly realized what I had to do. Stall for time.

Me: Hello........ Hello......... Uncle I can't hear you.......... Battery is low............. (hung up and
switched off the cell)

Call from landline on Dawg's landline, praying Debu is there

Dawg: Hello (sleepy) . Who the fuck is this?

Me: Your grandfather, brothel-born. Is Debu there?

Dawg: Not now yaar, we are sleeping.

Me: You better wake up and give Debu a kick on the ass
and get him on the line.

By now Dawg, also a fellow trainee, realized something was up and woke Debu up

Debu: Hello

Me: Screw the hello. Dude your Dad just called and he is asking about you. where do I tell
him you are? Do I tell him you are at Dawg's place?

Debu: No don't tell him that. Tell him that we came to your house after the concert and left
late. Debu went to the hostel and Dawg went home. Tell him I am in college attending
extra lectures

Me: What? Will he buy that? What if he calls someone at the hostel?

Debu: He would have already called my room partner. I will tell him I had a fight with my
room partner and that I slept in someone else's room.

Man I was impressed. This guy could lie.

Me: Alrite. Be it on your own head then.

I switched on my cell and almost immediately got a phone call from Mr. B

Mr. B: Hello. Rohit. Beta can you tell me where Debu is?

I faithfully conveyed what debu had told me to tell him and Mr. B asked me if I had Dawg's landline number coz his cell was switched off. I gave it to him and knew Debu and Dawg would handle things

A few minutes later, Mr. B called back.

Me : Hello uncle. Talked to Debu?

Mr. B: Yes beta. He is in college. He was attending extra lectures as you said. How come you
are at home?

Me: Uncle uh.........actually............. I got up late. That's why........

Mr. B: That is ok beta. It happens sometimes. I wanted to thank you for helping me find Debu.
He did not call yesterday after the concert and his mother and I were worried. Now we
know he has good friends to take care of him. (How right he was)

I mumbled something and hung up. To say I was feeling guilty as hell, would be putting it mildly.

I don't really know what transpired on Debu's visit home after that close shave, but I got to know that Debu told his dad that he won the tickets to the concert at some quiz in Thakur college (hah!!!) and when Mr. B called Hesti to ask him about the quiz, Hesti told him they didn't win anything. Anyway Mr. B caught him on that and everything came out.

To think Debu would have been home free if he had told his dad that Dawg got the tickets as a birthday present (which was the truth.......... Really........ I swear to God.) He had to go and lie and get caught. Anyways after a lot of noise which shook Dahanu, Mr. B came to the conclusion that staying in a hostel had spoilt Debu beyond measure, and that he would buy a flat in Mumbai asap.

There was also the matter of an inflated phone bill and a certain phone number, to which calls were made at ungodly hours....... but fearing for my life, I will not go into details of that particular episode.

The Debu episode ended with the unforgetable line :

" Tum to haraamkhor ho hi, saath mein tumhaare do dost bhi haraamkhor hain."

Gulp.

Well as Debu learnt, all good things must come to an end.
(As does this rather complex post).

The Usual Bullshit

Well the rains have just about arrived and we see the BMC working around the clock to beat the monsoon deadline for getting all the pending work completed. As usual the BMC has miserably failed to provide even a semblance of relief to harrassed motorists and pedestrians. I still have to traverse even one stretch of road without any potholes and the Municipal Commissioner is feeding us the usual crap about 90% of the work being complete. Whatever happened to the 900 crores or something allotted for the clean up of the Mithi river? Looks like more than one Babu will be getting a beach house in Goa this year.

Speaking of bullshit, I just happened to see spiderman 3 and I've got to admit it sucks. Its not that the visual effects are not amazing, but that is so passe'. I have grown sick and tired of superheroes like spiderman and daredevil. It seems all you have to do to get super powers is stand near a nuclear facility and hope they spray you with nuclear waste or gamma rays or some other equally volatile stuff you and I can't even pronounce, lot alone understand. If life was that simple, we would not have to use the roads at all and no blame would be attached to the BMC. Bring the cool super heroes like Batman and Phantom.

Would someone bother to tell me why were customers at a cybercafe in Kalyan bashed up by Shiv Sainiks because there is a community called "I hate Shiv Sena" on orkut? I mean, if you go about doing stuff like that, you are going to end up making people create more communities like that. Think about it, you are at this cyber cafe talking to your cousin in Dubai where the most interesting thing happening is a shopping fest. You step out and BAM. You are smacked on the face by a guy waving a saffron flag because you were minding your own business. Damn that makes me mad. Its about time the shiv sainiks apologised for their actions (Not a cat in hell's chance of that happenning). Sigh.